Being European

Seems to signify that by default, a person needs to be anti American. I find the attitude difficult to understand. Public and categoric statements about detesting the American culture and people or lifestyle in TV, by journalists and politicians have to sound inappropriate to any person with a little bit of perspective and multicultural training. Pilar Boyero, for example, maybe (?) a great singer, but nothing else. In the thinking she should be no leader. I could barely assign any worth to her many many comments during a recent broadcast in the Extremadura channel on satelite TV. If I were in charge of her image, my recommendation would be to talk more intelligently -or to stick to singing copla-

Now that in NY smoking is being prohibited in the parks and beaches, most media personalities use the opportunity to expose the topical opinions, the cliches and criticism about excessive control (Excess regulation they speak from the paradigmatic region of the complicated procedures, The EU!). Can't anybody see the merit of prohibiting cigarette buds contaminating the environment, impregnated in nicotine that every toddler finds and sucks while parents sunbathe during the Summer months? I applaud the message although regret that people have to be told something so common sensical: Cigarette buds are polluting, dangerous, gross, and should be disposed of properly. In Estonia I have had evil thoughts about those who care little for their beautiful beaches as well. So many leave their 2 lt plastic bottles behind, but will we have to prohibit drinking any beverage by the sea? Interesting idea if sanctions consisted of cleaning public spaces, for free, several months in a row...Forced labor that is, but we are all forced to recycle for example. I DO SEE THE CONNECTION! :)

I was appalled by the image of downtown cafeterias and coffee bars in Madrid. Never before I went to any place where people in disregard of basic manners, threw the garbage to the floor. Any of these establishments in the capital of Spain hoarded at the time, innumerable napkins, residue of food and cigarette waste all over, except from counter and table tops.

I was the most surprised when after politely daring to ask once, Why littering was allowed? and Why not to place some bins to dispose of the trash? (the barman noticed my south American accent) the answer was: But where are you coming from? Colombia? Do not tell me that you do any better! Colombians must be much dirtier than us! What a display of talent...I was not going to try convincing this anonymous guy on that in fact this was really an authentic/indigenous Spanish habit (left from Madrid 3 years ago, maybe it all has changed). One that is difficult to get used to. However, foreigners love Spain, and I have not heard anybody claiming that they are nasty people. Why Europeans like to pick on Americans so much? Who does not have "RABO DE PAJA?"

LET'S OBJECTIFY OR AT LEAST BALANCE THAT! If there was only a bit of diversity and few anti Venezuelan, some anti Chinese, several anti North Korean. Or what about not committing so hard and definitively to anything so abstract as hating an entire culture/country? Being nice to people and working hard makes up for an empty mind. Shake off the stereotypical politic views and just live.

Dia mundial contra el cancer

Chocolates fuera del alcance de Joonas, El establo en Purtse, 2009

Comer sano, superar dificultades, relajarse simplificando la vida, tranquilidad, silencio, recato, deteccion precoz o cuidados profilacticos, hacer ejercicio, algo de buena suerte, asistencia medica profesional, terapias complementarias, apoyo, dedicacion, acompanamiento, buenos amigos, alejarse por completo del cigarrillo, y en resumen vivir una buena vida.

Casi todo posible. Aveces el cancer nos despierta del letargo de la vida comoda y el sinsentido pero no deberiamos necesitar una tragedia para vivir bien. En los ultimos anos muchas personas que conocemos y queremos han sufrido de cancer. Las historias tragicas abundan y nos hacen tambalear en la propia lucha, la de Jaan y de esta familia que ha tenido una leucemia que enfrentar. No hay victorias definitivas sino pequenos logros que tenemos que apreciar. Unos meses mas de vida, tratamientos que nos dan esperanza, aprecio por lo cotidiano, emociones renovadas, desprendimientos positivos. Hay cosas que agradecer, que sigue vivo hoy, y esperemos que por mucho tiempo, el suficiente para tener experencias gratificantes, para crear recuerdos felices.

Todos podemos vivir mejor

En los burdeles de Venecia tambien se daba de comer. Alli como tentempie se creo el famosisimo tiramisu, por los anos 50. Aqui hablamos de la receta de Emil, de cuando cocinaba (durante la adolescencia los intereses se suspenden...). Hoy les recuerdo lo facil que se hace, para endulzar este fin de semana y vivir mejor:

Huevos, azucar y mascarpone mezclados con fuerza hasta espumarlos (separadamente). 4 huevos, 200g de azucar, y 500g del queso. Homogenizar a mano. Las galletas deditos (lady fingers/savoiardi/soletillas) se remojan en cafe con licor de almendra o amaretto, al gusto, y se comienza a organizar el postre en capas. Se refrigera y se pone al servir con cacao espolvoreado por encima o chocolate en trocitos. A mi me gusta con ambos y el chocolae con naranja. Jaffa! Lo voy a hacer manana para todos, por la vida de Jaan, de Veronica, de mi papa, y todos los que con tanta dignidad han vivido esta enfermedad, y los que los hemos acompanado.

When things are not discussed early, clearly with the rigth people

Calligraphic art by Margaret Shepherd

Disputes take place. Disagreement is better than misunderstandings and what they may cause.
Conflict is not bad, it could be a great opportunity to review positions, relationships, attitudes, opinions. To transform, evolve, progress.
Constructive conflict management is a skill as useful as good reading. Sometimes the problems lie exclusively in the way people interpret signs.

Dormir en la cama de los padres

J. se fue para USA y me quedo con los ninos hasta tardisimo en la cama, Joonas se queda conmigo. Lo disfruto, ahora mas cuando comienzo a sentir que Emil va desprendiendose de todo, del "nosotros" 5, de los programas de fin de semana, de las opiniones familiares, ya no hablamos con certeza en nombre de todos. Somos Emil, y los otros 4. No crece mas, pero se independiza. Me aferro entonces a Joonas que todavia piensa solo en sus papas y en complacer a la mama siendo el nino mas bueno, mas fuerte y mas sabido del mundo, es que lo es. Febrero parece lejano y lo del transplante inefinido. La acumulacion de hierro en el higado crea un riesgo que no parecen estar dispuestos a correr en Estocolmo. Esta ha sido una historia larga de muchisimo suspenso. Continuara.

Sigo queriendo un ex/libris tipo sello y si consiguiera material esculpible y cincelitos lo haria muy simple. Aqui de navidad, como siempre llegaron muchos libros mas, para J. por ejemplo, SNOW COUNTRY. Hermoso, japones, famoso, elegante.

Fotos, los hijos comiendo muchisimo, sabado en la cocina de la casa. Cerdo, papas con crema, queso y brocoli, torta de chocolate, galletas de avena y morcilla estonia de navidad con repollo agrio.

Felices en esta navidad

Por que va a haber un bebe nuevo en la familia. Por que Jaan sigue hasta ahora en remision y con la posibilidad real de un transplante. Hoy todo parece perfecto.

A reason to attend one's life

Another blue house for my collection of images with blue houses :). This time by kukuxumusu. Needless to say I want to paint this house blue. DARK cobalt blue. On the outside. I think my neighbors could not cope with such decision. Lucky them I have no time to deal with it.

I was going to have visitors today. MANY. I had not even paid attention to this place around me for a couple of months. A LOT. I had to work on rebuilding a normal living space, clean, cozy and family friendly (with food, for instance) for the past 8 hours. I have not finished, but everything begins seeming normal. NOT TOO GOOD. Just OK. Dinner is ready with pluses, the air smells cake and quiche, the sanitation of the house was excellent corner by corner. I spent a bit of my cherished pine cleaner and Marsella soap for the walls and furniture. I placed candles  strategically and planned for the snacks and dips while in the meantime I received mobile messages and emails from the group. I noticed them a minute ago. They cannot come. NONE. It is snowy, cold, someone has fever, the other emotional exhaustion, a fourth remembered a previous engagement, and there are few who did not explain why. It does not matter. I could have read a book but I am glad I did not.

I have had a terrible week, of course not the worst of this horrible year. This day has been useful to get my home back. It was not a waste but I do not think I will be volunteering for the a sewing evening anytime soon.

Things to change

Why my 14 year old believes (with cult/like passion) that he needs a phone that could overtake his life and simplify every possible activity to the point of turning him into an inert entity, unable to operate, survive and be satisfied without the object (the phone) that provides him with instant satisfaction and accessibility to everything at any time, anywhere? Every other child in this country is spoiled with the most advanced technology at such age. What they will be even able to desire few years later, if anything? I predict a short span of attention, very little satisfaction, lack of appreciation of what really matters, reduced emphaty, and insatiable appetite for gadgets. This is all programming them to have unlimited money *needs* and therefore to turn their parents into slaves to their demands.
Why people do not notice this happening? It seems that I am the only one around refusing to purchase an iphone or a nokia N900 while I still keep my many years old simple calling device...
Instead I wish to go to the Autumn show at the Kyoto palace in Japan, also to Spain to see our friend Eva and her family. Jaan hopes to make the pilgrimage to Santiago, and Joonas is OK with a chocolate candy every evening. Juulia cannot make up her mind, she is at the threshold of adolescence sometimes happy with very little and others feeling terrible for the misfortune of everyday routines but in general, she finds comfort in anime drawing and crafting. It is the boy, at 14 who out of the sudden wants nothing else but things, very expensive and unnecessary ones.

Dream Eater Merry will be turned into anime, at last. Maria watches over us is a best selling manga that has been turned into a real life characters movie. We like it!
Not understanding the appeal of the works by kengo Hanazawa. Just too tragic to comment on the lousiness of loosers and other ordinary people...Should this be funny?

No, the blog is not abandoned

We had 6 weeks of happy reunion with laabueladeemil. Here having a view of Russia, from the Estonian border.

We are just postponing. 2010 continues being a challenging year. No planning possible. Just waiting to see how things are week by week. I am, for example, 5 weeks away from finishing the semester! Wishing to be in Spain again, happy and hopeful. Unaware.

Thinking a lot about friends and family even in the absence of letters and phone-calls. We are busy beyond words.

Want to stitch more, learn how to sew, eat food prepared by someone else, have a dust free house, my own business connected to books somehow, travel to Spain, the UK, and stop aging so fast. There is plenty to do but just one very complicated life to schedule it all.

Recuerdos

Un insuperable recuerdo de un quesito envuelto en hoja de platano -Uno de los mejores y mas escasos (hasta en Medellin) sabores del pasado-, los pasteles del tejadito (todavia existe? En miami abrieron alguno -Autentica colonizacion paisa en USA-), la pizza de rumo's, las jugadas de catapis de segundo de primaria a "primero de bachillerato," las finquiadas en todos los niveles de comodidad o incomodidad posibles, las levantadas con olor a arepa donde fuera, obleas con arequipe, chitos de los de Jack snacks cuando salian tostados, morenitas de la rosa, sapitos del Astor, las lejanisimas crispetas dulces y empanadas de la iglesia Santa Teresita, los primeros palitos de queso de solo frutas, salpicones de la primera frutera; con de todo y miel, perritos calientes con guacamole de San Diego, eran los 80s!!!! El olor de la costa despues de 6 horas de viaje en carro, si aire acondicionado, el fresco de la noche en Cartagena, pescado frito con nada mas que limon, patacones!!!!!!!! Kola Roman o Premio (ya no lo venden?), los cuadernos nuevos el primer dia de colegio, los prismacolors con las puntas irremediablemente quebradas, los borradores rompehojas, mis primeras cosas de Sanrio en los 70s, con Little Twin Stars y My Melody, colecciones de calcomanias, plaza sesamo con Abelardo, los que no podian botar la basura en la caneca, el waltz del minuto y el conde contar, no con Big Bird, Elmo y Co. , mi primera "mejor amiga" en la que todavia pienso hoy, los papas perfectos que le iban a durar a uno toda la vida...la niñez.

Joonas, acumulando los propios recuerdos. Verano, 2010, Purtse, Ida Virumaa, Estonia.

Many more suns

Joonas at Kristi's too self concious already to allow a natural capture

Juulia at Kristi's unaware of the camera, concentrating

Joonas, Juulia, Jaan last Sunday

30-32 degrees in here. We are enjoying another Summer with J. while others are never to be seen again. I have a sore throat from last week despite the temperatures. No interesting events other than having a full house with 3 kids at home permanently for the next 2 months. We have survived 6 weeks, done everything possible at our reach, including dentist visits, baking, gardening, hiking and sleeping far too long and counting...

A must read

"Everything was better back when everything was worse" We miss Spain.

-Parque Juan Carlos, Madrid. Juulia y Jaan-

Simple. Simply one of the best and quickest way around in any occasion:

strawberry-ricotta-graham-tartlets

The past weeks have been characterized by inefficiency. Lost files and pictures from computers, flash drives and external memories, ALL to be exact. The end of the semester with a balance of zero savings, unsuccessfully trying to sell the car (again! We're stuck with it!), not a word from the university regarding the doctorate, very few contacts with friends and family, and no donor for J.

E. is growing with all the pains it implies for the both of us. He has a teen mind with the drives and pretense of adulthood. I also have 3 months of imposed communion with the 3 children; Too many complications ahead...and a pretty video to share:

Con varios proyectos en mente

Para pasar las muchisimas horas de los muchisimos dias de la hospitalizacion de J. que comenzo hoy con el segundo ciclo de FLAG-Ida. Con ganas de sopa de esparragos VERDES, de hacer una quilt para colgar en la sala de Chabliss (Cafe, verde azul y blanca con motivos algo zakka), y si alcanzo escribir una propuesta sobre el control del internet y la propiedad intelectual, el digitalismo y el capitalismo aplicado al mercado del conocimiento...un poquito de todo y mas de lo mismo.

Update

Failed first round of Chemio. Trying a new protocol starting today. If we do not hope then what else? One month and a week from diagnosis we are all the same preoccupied. The children are fine. The winter should be soon coming to an end with loads of melting snow. It has been a weird time. Recalling the previous months is almost surrealistic. We went through Christmas almost without noticing it, and it is already March! No other plans in view to discuss and most happenings around us seem so irrelevant that an interesting post will have to wait. Love and good health to all!

Time to reorganize, reschedule, review and reset

We will be busy and engaged with difficult projects. There will be little time to blog. These sort of journals contain so many cherished memories, that I hope they will be up here forever. The children will read the story of their family, have an insight on everyday details, follow the images of the family life and events that otherwise fade away and nobody remembers. I look around as if I was being given the opportunity to revisit my past, like if my life was already a memory. Everything changes. Changes are supposed to be good and promote growth but my life as it is is fantastic, beautiful, harmonious and priviledged. I have a very good partner, and I want him to grow old together with me. Again, we will be busy trying to maintain this.

Record winter

Snowy, white, cold, very beautiful! All the pictures were taken close to our house by the sea bank of Tabasalu. The images here do not reflect even a bit of these amazing views because we used Juulia's small digital camera during our improvised brisk walk. A sunny day of the very few that we have during the Estonian winter. Everybody was out at the parks, forest, skiing...The ideal nordic season.

Looking forward to dine out today

I am already visualizing an oversized glass of any non home made drink, as different as it can be possible from the gingerbread and spicy wine spectrum, and loaded with ice. I will, for the first time, greatly appreciate the ice on the drink.
A late best wishes message from the sick, completely overloaded with Christmas produce and flavours lady of the house and Co. Seasonal greetings for all!!!!!!
This year we did not manage to get anything ready on time, but still thought about all our friends and relatives with affection and nostalgia. Please, make of 2010 the year of your visit to Estonia.
We will go to Lido (The Latvian export restaurant) this evening to give the kitchen, the cook and all of our stomachs a break!

Yes, because we have mostly bad pictures. Here featuring Kyoko, Joonas and Emil before they went to sledge last weekend.

Few complaints, no offense intended

J. changes the settings of the computer everytime he uses it; mutes its volume invariably despite repeated requests to resist temptation; erases icons that I often use and deletes shortcuts I need. In the car, he moves the mirrors, pushes the sit back and low, heats, and the worst: modifies the memory of the radio making it for me impossible to locate my favorite station again (the only one I appreciate in this country). Note that he uses my car only to fill the fuel tank. I will have (for the peace) to give up trying to show him the reasonability of my petitions to leave everything as is, but it will also mean that I must budget a considerable time waste for the rearrengement of my preferences at least once per week. He takes strange pictures. This year, Joonas saw Santa for the first time and J.´s caption of the experience did not show either Joonas or Santa Claus in full. They are both parted from eachother already, faces unrecognizable...Luckily someone else (I am sure it was not J.) made another photo...The failed pic is is our other blog.

Taken in the International Women Association Christmas Bazaar, where Emil and I were helping with the selling of "pre-owned" books

Almost done with 2009

Lately working and sometimes, just sometimes hand crafting for the holidays. This Sunday, coinciding with the first advent, Monica Elejalde' s birthday and the opening of the Christmas Market of Old Town Tallinn, is the International Women Association Charity Bazaar in which Emil and I will be volunteering. In addition I made this advent calendar in felt for sale at the hand made stand. Only one because it takes many days to finish and mount it so to make any profit with it the cost gets too high...hoping it will sell... On the 2nd change of boiler -it broke for the third time this year- Hey! It is December, the big spending month, on the 7th candle's day, and from then on countless meetings, parties and celebrations.

De las ultimas dos semanas

Con Joonas, caminando en Paldisky, una ciudad a 30 kilometros de Tallinn donde hubo industria militar y asentamiento de submarinos durante la ocupacion Sovietica y ahora no hay sino ruinas y estos acantilados



Emil al borde del mismo acantilado

Con Jaan



Lo que queda del Paldisky de la USSR, solo en imagenes

La primera nevada del ano. El primero o 2 de Noviembre. Desde la ventana de la cocina, el jardin de atras.

Not the very same version

I cant get enough of Edith Piaff. What about this one??